One thing I have noticed is that Aspergians are great negotiators. I think one of the challenging things in raising an Aspergian is that they think out of the box and have an advanced thought process for their age. Some of the things that they come up with I would have never thought of doing at their ages.
I noticed that Jared was a good negotiator when he was about 3 or 4 and he negotiated cookies. When Jared wanted a cookie and he was probably certain that I would say no if he asked for one he simply would go and get a cookie (or whatever it was that he wanted) and bring it in to me and say, "Mommy, I brought you a cookie." When I took his offering and had it mostly consumed he would then say, "Oh and this one is for me." How could I say no at that point? He had my hand in the cookie jar.
While we were at the fair over the weekend, he negotiated a chocolate chip cookie and a piece of someones fried dough while we were sitting at a picnic table. The chocolate chip cookie took place at the NY State Troopers. One of the Troopers was hiding behind a display having a taste of his sweet treat when Jared looked around the display and said, "Mmmmmm cookies!" The other Troopers who were manning the display with him all laughed and said, "Wow them are some powerful glasses." The Trooper who was eating the cookie then asked me if Jared could have one which of course I said Yes. The other Troopers were trying to figure out how it was that Jared spotted the cookies and all got a chuckle out of it.
The sour dough occurred later in the night while I was eating my sweet potato fries at a picnic table and a woman and her daughter were sitting across from us eating their fried dough when Jared said, "Mmmm that smells good. Where did you get it." The mother then pointed to the stand that she bought it from as Jared said, "That looks really good." and to my astonishment the woman offered Jared some of her fried dough.
I think one advantage of the social difference of Aspergers is that Aspergians are great negotiators. Sometimes as a parent it is frustrating because, at least from my experience, Aspergians think out of the box which is a different perspective from which a Neurotypical thinks, and as a parent you don't expect it. It is a trait that I will work on nuturing with Jared. It definitely keeps us on our toes.
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2 comments:
I can very much relate! My son, 5, has been verbally negotiating with me for as long as I can remember. Feels like we have a teenager. And he has done pretty much the exact same thing that you describe--bringing me a cookie and then getting one for himself. In fact, he now routinely begins a request for something with, "Lucy [his little sister] would like..."
Yep, Jared and Nathan both do that too!!! They are so cute! These are the things that are fun. They have a different way of looking at things and think out of the box. A great characteristic to have. Trying to be careful not to squash that ability.
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