Ok so here is the skinny.......I've been seeing a psychologist with my son Jared who has been dianosed with Aspergers for about 2 years now, and I've always wanted my extended family to go to some of these sessions with me and so far they haven't. I recently sent out an email to everyone (my husbands family and my parents) to extend a written invitation to them about going to see the psychologist with me because I'm really tired of getting bombarded with "I think you guys need to do this, You guys are pushovers. Jared is manipulating you. He doesn't misbehave because of Aspergers, he misbehaves because you are a pushover", and my favorite most recent, my sister in law called my husband to say that Jared is worse when he is around me!! Ughhhh.
I received a call last night from my husbands Aunt telling me that she and my mother in law would like to go to the next session with our psychologist which initially I thought was great, but now I'm getting nervous about it because I fear that they are going to go with their guns drawn and pretty much explain that I'm a pushover as a parent and causing my son harm. I'm trying not to think about it and just letting things unfold as they should, and I'm hoping that my psychologist will support me and the things that I've been doing with Jared. The appointment is next Tuesday which is the 3rd anniversary of my brothers death who was an undiagnosed Aspie. I'm really hoping this session improves things rather than makes things worse. I will keep you posted! No pun intended. ;)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Calling all Girls!!
The more that I read about Aspergers the more I can relate to it. I just went to a seminar about working in the work environment and having Aspergers. The woman who gave the lecture is an undiagnosed Aspergian. She realized that she had Aspergers when she was reading up on it to help her boyfriend who she felt had Aspergers.
The Aspergian personality characteristics that she described in her lecture were as follows: Focus/Diligence when it comes to their work so much so that they neglect their needs, extreme pride in their work, desire to please and be accepted, independent, unique thinking, high fluid intelligence (ability to infer), visual 3-dimensional thinking, high attention to detail, honesty, and logical decision making. I read down this list and I have every characteristic. I seldom take a lunch because I get too involved in my work. Even at home during the weekends I will get busy with my housework and I don't eat until late at night. I am a severe people pleaser. I have a high attention to detail. I've spent 5 years in public accounting and the general consensus is I spend too much time on the finer details, I am very honest, but I don't think I say things people don't want to hear. The other characteristic that Aspies (hope you don't mind the term) have is literal thinking of which I am very literal. My mom gets upset with me because when she tells me a joke, I don't always get it because I think too literally.
People with Aspergers (according to the lecture) have a high rate of unemployment. According to the lecture, 85 - 90% of Aspergians are unemployed either because they quit or are fired due to a social issue. Over the past 5 years, I've had 3 public accounting jobs. The first I left because I felt that a coworker was sabotaging me, the second I left because I was being bullied by a manager (another vulnerability of Aspies) and the third I was laid off because of economic reasons but one of the comments was that I paid too much attention to detail.
As a kid, I don't remember having sensory issues, but I did have a temper and I can remember my dad always getting upset with me due to my crying fits. I didn't play with dolls like other girls, but I loved my stuffed animals. I would line them up on my shelves and count them. I loved playing with boys because they were more fun and I wasn't fond of playing with dolls and hop-scotch and jump rope. I never seemed to fit in with girls.
As an older kid/adult, I am obsessive in my thoughts. My husband gets frustrated with me because I tend to obsess or get stuck on things I'm trying to work out in my head. I have OCD tendencies, but I wonder if I've learned these from my mother. I hate it when things are not in their proper places and when my house is really in disarray, I can feel the turmoil internally. Physically I have had panic attacks when my anxieties are high and I suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) which I find is helped by drinking water.
I often wonder if I do have Aspergers did I receive it genetically or is it learned behavior especially since I don't seem to have sensory issues, however, I can tolerate extreme exposure to heat. My husband hates it when I take a shower because our bathroom becomes a steam room and when we first moved into our house and were getting our fire alarms set up which has a direct link to the fire department, I set off our fire alarm because of my hot showers. As I was finishing up in the shower, I heard the sirens and by the time I got out of the bathroom, 6 firemen were running up my stairs to the bathroom to check out the status of our "fire".
So, I don't know....Aspergers or not? Did I learn certain behaviors because I believe my dad is undiagnosed as well as my brother? What will we find out about Aspergers in the next few years? Is it a disorder or a personality like Type A??? Those are the questions, and I'm interested in your comments. Please share. Thanks. :)
The Aspergian personality characteristics that she described in her lecture were as follows: Focus/Diligence when it comes to their work so much so that they neglect their needs, extreme pride in their work, desire to please and be accepted, independent, unique thinking, high fluid intelligence (ability to infer), visual 3-dimensional thinking, high attention to detail, honesty, and logical decision making. I read down this list and I have every characteristic. I seldom take a lunch because I get too involved in my work. Even at home during the weekends I will get busy with my housework and I don't eat until late at night. I am a severe people pleaser. I have a high attention to detail. I've spent 5 years in public accounting and the general consensus is I spend too much time on the finer details, I am very honest, but I don't think I say things people don't want to hear. The other characteristic that Aspies (hope you don't mind the term) have is literal thinking of which I am very literal. My mom gets upset with me because when she tells me a joke, I don't always get it because I think too literally.
People with Aspergers (according to the lecture) have a high rate of unemployment. According to the lecture, 85 - 90% of Aspergians are unemployed either because they quit or are fired due to a social issue. Over the past 5 years, I've had 3 public accounting jobs. The first I left because I felt that a coworker was sabotaging me, the second I left because I was being bullied by a manager (another vulnerability of Aspies) and the third I was laid off because of economic reasons but one of the comments was that I paid too much attention to detail.
As a kid, I don't remember having sensory issues, but I did have a temper and I can remember my dad always getting upset with me due to my crying fits. I didn't play with dolls like other girls, but I loved my stuffed animals. I would line them up on my shelves and count them. I loved playing with boys because they were more fun and I wasn't fond of playing with dolls and hop-scotch and jump rope. I never seemed to fit in with girls.
As an older kid/adult, I am obsessive in my thoughts. My husband gets frustrated with me because I tend to obsess or get stuck on things I'm trying to work out in my head. I have OCD tendencies, but I wonder if I've learned these from my mother. I hate it when things are not in their proper places and when my house is really in disarray, I can feel the turmoil internally. Physically I have had panic attacks when my anxieties are high and I suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) which I find is helped by drinking water.
I often wonder if I do have Aspergers did I receive it genetically or is it learned behavior especially since I don't seem to have sensory issues, however, I can tolerate extreme exposure to heat. My husband hates it when I take a shower because our bathroom becomes a steam room and when we first moved into our house and were getting our fire alarms set up which has a direct link to the fire department, I set off our fire alarm because of my hot showers. As I was finishing up in the shower, I heard the sirens and by the time I got out of the bathroom, 6 firemen were running up my stairs to the bathroom to check out the status of our "fire".
So, I don't know....Aspergers or not? Did I learn certain behaviors because I believe my dad is undiagnosed as well as my brother? What will we find out about Aspergers in the next few years? Is it a disorder or a personality like Type A??? Those are the questions, and I'm interested in your comments. Please share. Thanks. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
